Bravery + Idiocy = GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, IT HURTS!

Yes, this is gonna be ANOTHER post about how badly I got beaten up in Muay Thai. Don't blame me, I just started a month ago and I just fought a regional champion today. Fuck, I won 3 out of 9 rounds. Don't look at me that way bucko, let's see you doing better. That's what I thought. In any case, the construct of flesh once known as my left cheek is swollen, so is my right eye and my jaw hurts like hell. Let me explain why in a very detailed flashback

( Suggested soundtrack for reading this : Eye of the Tiger by Survivor )

"Go!"
The alarm bell rang and the next thing I knew, I was pit against the regional champion. Looking at this guy fully clothed you'd thing he's more of the dancer type than a fighter. Once he takes off the shirt and reveals he's ripped as fuck, you take that back and start peeing a little. Gladly not my case since my last 3 spars had allowed me to have an excuse to go to the bathroom to splash my face and take a leak. Because boy, does that make you wanna go. In any case, I was already on the arena so all I had left to choose was either :

a) Beg for mercy.
b) Pretend to faint.
c) Take it like a boss.
d) Pretend to be an Anime protagonist and hope to God I had a 'Berserk' mode in case I was about to die.

Needless to say, I choose 'c' and 'd'. Although 'b' didn't sound that bad since I've taken acting classes but whatever. I raised my fist and we shared a brofist. A dojo custom, makes you feel all the more informal and relaxed about getting your ass handed to ya. And to add insult to injury, this guy has a kickass motorcycle and would do a better Wesker lookalike than me. Fuck. So with this chain of thoughts in my head, the next thing I noticed was a kick. Aiming for my face. Fast. With the reflexes of an anime enthusiast, I managed to block the hit with my arm, thus absorbing the shock. Which sort of dislocated my shoulder. Two seconds in, and I was already losing limbs. Without much time to react, I ducked and evaded a second kick, this time a roundhouse. A fucking roundhouse. I was sure now that this guy wanted to kill me or maybe just see what my blood looked like.

I should mention at this point, my specialization in ANY sort of fight is dodging. Yes, it makes me look like a pussy. No, it's not gay at all since I'll probably outlive you when the ninjas rise again. And no, I can't do the Matrix bullet time dodge. Yet.

Appearently acknowledging that I required special service, he started throwing middle roundhouses aimed for my ribs. Only one of those connected, making me lose air for at least 4 seconds. Next thing, I took advantage of the moment he spin so I ducked and delivered a Shoryuken to the jaw.

Fucking blocked.

With his foot.

This was the moment I realized I really DID need anime powers in order to survive this. With the force of a thousand douchebags, I pushed my blocked hit further in order to de-estabilize him and then, my face hit the floor. I had been punched fully on one side of the face and could no longer feel it. I knew something was bleeding since I felt the coppery taste on my mouth. Not to mention my teeth hurt. I was starting to lose my cool. I stood up and faked a right kick, he fell for it and blocked so I kicked his opposite thigh, right in the nerves. It worked, making his stance a litte shaky, so I proceeded to unleash the fury of a 7 hit combo consisting of jab, swing, swing, charged punch, forward kick and jab. While I succeeded in connecting the blows, the guy merely absorbed each and every hit like I was throwing fucking Nerf darts at him. I charged another punch and aimed for the chest. Which proved to be a big mistake.

I got hit by a direct jab to the nose.

I stepped back a bit teary. Nobody fucks with the nose. I'm lucky I didn't get my dad's nose so nobody, but NOOOOOOOOOOBODY fuck with the NOSE. I inhaled deeply and decided to do another approach. When he started throwing punches at me, I cloistered up, absorbing each hit with my dislocated elbow. Maybe just maybe...

it worked.

At last, years of watching cartoons paid off. He delivered a blow that hit my elbow, placing it on its right place again. I confess I copied that maneuver from a series but fuck you, it worked. It was then when I ripped off Akuma from Street Fighters.

"SHUNGOKUSATSU!" ( Yes, I actually yelled that out loud in the middle of the fight. Yes, it was ridiculous. No, I don't regret it. )

For anyone who has played Street Fighters, you know what ensues. I started delivering punches, kicks, changing positions and repeating and connecting different combos without stopping. My arms and legs hurt like hell since doing this in a rapid motion is key for the move to work, and it is NOT good to force your body that way. But hell, I was already past the 'Wanna piece of me?' threshold. After what I can only remember as a blurry succession of moves, I couldn't bear the pain any more and stopped. Seems I actually hit him hard this time because I could see him smiling under his guard. With several reddish spots all over his arms, legs and chest.

"What, no hitting the face JD?"

"I don't hit the face dude. Not my style."

"JD, this is a sport. You could've dealt more damage if you hit me in the face."

"I won't hit you in the face, dammit. It hurts."

"Exactly. I did it to you, now do it to me."

"Dude, let me fight in my own style."

"You're dead."

He was right. I realized then that I did not possess enough brute force to produce hit trauma on him. I was hoping to hit his limbs and chest badly enough to cripple his moveset, but never the face. Not the face. I used to get hit the face by other kids when I was small. So never, ever the face.

Mind you, my kicks are powerful and this guy knew it. But appearently, I made a fatal mistake by informing him I would not attack the face. He changed his whole defence stance to body-protection type and I was prettymuch screwed. Not only did I have to break through his defence to deal a ( now weakened ) blow, but I also had to deal with a martial pacifist's worst nightmare :

Headbutts.

Funny thing about headbutts is that both parts get hurt, but only the target gets a fucked up stability. His first headbutt hit me full in the forehead, making me step back yet again. Only to notice something that seriously made me both enraged and terrified.

My father had arrived early and was watching the whole thing.

Now, I'm not the nervous 'Gotta live to daddy's expectations' type. But hell, one thing is to fight a dude who can reduce you to a bloody pulp, but it is another thing entirely to do it in front of you DAD. There's an unspoken rule amongst the brotherhood of men that states you do NOT get beat up in front of your dad. Ever. I think that's when my berserker kicked on.

Pretending to not have seen him, I delivered an uppercut to his jaw, only to receive and exact replica of my move from him. We both got hit, but only I was lifted a few centimeters form the floor. My eyes were teary again because fuck, that shit hurts. And now I could only see with my right eye. I didn't want to look at my father. I didn't want to look and see if he was indiferent, horrified, dissapointed or cheering. I just didn't want to look away because this guy would destroy me the moment one of my feelings leaked out.

Then I got a charged punch in the stomach, making me gasp for air and hit the wall behind me. The man didn't stop, delivering punches to my chest, stomach and face, and I tried to block most of them. I didn't want to lose in front of my father. I have my pride. I didn't want to lose in something I had chose to do. But why did I chose to do it in the first place? What was worth fighting for? Dad? Physique? Popularity? Her?

My dodging instinct kicked in and made me roll to the side, jumping up and delivering a punch backed up with the force of my whole body to his ribs.

It hit.

"The fuck?"

" I'm sorry, didn't mean to hurt you badly."

"Not that, moron, you're smiling. You fucking like pain, weirdo."

He was right in one thing : I was suddenly smiling for some reason, even though my lower lip was bleeding. The thought of her? It was the most likely option. I felt sort of refreshed even though my body felt like spontaneously combusting. Not the thought of 'being' with her. Just her. As she was. Smiling back. It made me smile subconciously.

And then I got a punch to the face, making me fly towards the wall again. Reality was calling me back.

I realized right there that I wasn't going to lose. The guy had won 6 sets, but there were 3 left. I wasn't gonna 'defeat' him. It wasn't going to end that way. But I wasn't gonna lose. Not now. He delivered a rounhouse kick to my ribs, I blocked it with my leg, he coutered with a swing punch, covered my face with my elbow and shoulder. I dashed to the side, breaking the cornered situation I had gotten in, took advantage of him giving me his back and delivered what I call a Right Hand Break. It's exactly what the name implies : I hit him with a right punch, so hard that it can potentially break my hand.

Yes, I name my attacks. No, I'm not kidding. Ask around.

In any case, my hand didn't break, but my wrist was done for. I'd have to do with left punches from now on. The lack of water and oxygen were already taxing me, and the strain from the shungokusatsu was already palpitating throughout my entire body. I was physically unable to move anymore unless I wanted cramps everywhere, but I didn't want to stop. My decrease in mobility took away my dodging bonus, hence rendering me open to every blow. I absorbed them all, but always returning in kind. I could almost feel my vision going blurry from sweat and fatigue.

The bell rang.

I fell on my butt, exhausted. My T-shirt was sticking to my body, drenched in sweat. It looked like I had fell on a pool. The guy aimed his fist toward me. We brofisted again, in respect.

"You kicked me in the balls once dude. Not cool. You need to control your kicks better."

"Holy shit I'm sorry ma-"

"Don't worry. Just relax, don't push yourself. You won 3 rounds out of 9. Against me. That's enough to get you laid."

I was physically unable to chuckle at this point but I smiled a bit. It was then when I noticed my dad was gone. Of course he had. He couldn't bear it. I picked up my stuff and took my white wristbands off. There were red spots in it. My lip was still bleeding when I rubbed them against it. I headed to the bathroom. Took a shirt out of bag and put it on after drying myself off. I'd shower at home better. The teacher walked in.

"Not once, JD. That's good."

"Ah?"

"Not once did you hit his face. Maybe you don't realize it, but you stopped your fist inches from his face 3 times dude. You're an idiot, but you at least stand by your beliefs. Which are stupid to me, mind you. You'll learn eventually. Get some ice on your face."

Considering the kindest thing this guy had spurted up to this point had been something among the lines of "MOVE YOUR ASS, FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL! KICK WITH FORCE, MOVING YOUR ASS LIKE THE BITCH YOU ARE!", it was clear that somehow, he had softened up a bit after my display of idiocy and reluctance to bail out.

Because it was supposed to be only 6 rounds.

I put a shirt on, walked outside carrying my stuff and saw my dad's car outside. I opened the side door and sat inside.

"Sorry for dissapointing you."

He started the engine and remained silent for the entire trip home.

When we arrived, he patted me on the shoulder softly.

"When I was your age, I got beat up by a bunch of seniors in military school. For two days, the bastards bothered me. Wanna know what I did?" he didn't wait for an answer " Next day I challenged them to a fight in breaktime, in front of everyone. Obviously, they weren't gonna say 'no', so they ganged up against me. That that I broke my nose, son. I also lost that fight."

"Your point being, winning is not everything?"

"My point being, your uncle Carlos was one of those three guys. Your uncle Carlos who is your godfather and wants you to spend more time with his sons. Your uncle Carlos my best friend. Because the fight lasted nearly half an hour and I didn't once kick them in the balls or the face even though they did."

"...And they became your friends because you showed restraint."

"They became my friends because I respected them even in a fight. We were best friend with the three of them up until now. I have lunch with your uncle Carlos next week."

He hugged me, and wasn't aware of how much it hurt when he did, but I didn't protest.

"My point being, I am proud. Your brother won a lot of fights, but hr never knew limits. You set limits even when you were getting beaten up. I love you, son."

"...You're Mr. Miyagi, aren't you."

"SEE? YOU CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING SEROUSLY, DAMMIT!"










I finish writing this post with a swollen cheek, a hurt jaw, a bleeding lip, a hurting nose probably a dislocated wrist. And I feel damn good.

Thanks Q, for not giving up on me. And for being a precious part of a living memory I'll reach someday.